The Summer of Serious Growth

Often times, when I reflect back on my years, I remember them based on events rather than simply the year. There was the year we went to Alaska as kids, the year I stayed in Australia for the whole summer, the year that our vacation was ruined by a bounced paycheck, the year we got married. 

This summer is the Summer of Serious Growth. 

Realistically, this process began about 6 months ago, with the demise of one of my longest friendships, which caused a great deal of self-reflection and inventory. Then, there was the car theft, which threw all our travel plans into oblivion and prompted me to make a list of all the dreams and goals I had ever had, whether I had given up on them or not. 

That list.

That list opened my eyes wider than I could have imagined.

It showed me themes that were important--travel, adventure, being outdoors, and art.

It also showed me why I had given up on things or held myself back--fear.

Little fears, irrational fears, big fears. 

At the cusp of my 30th birthday, with all that reflection behind me and within me, I looked at myself in the mirror. Rather, I looked at the me that I've always wanted to be. I saw her, and I grabbed her and held her close. I am becoming her with reckless abandon. I am throwing caution to the wind and pursuing all of those things that I have held back on. 

This is the Summer of Serious Growth.

It has been scary, exciting, hearbreaking and painful. It has been exhilerating and heartening. It has been full of ups and downs. It has been full of sleepless nights, lost dreams, tears, anxiety, and finding that strength that is in the depth of all of us just when you don't think you have any left.

 I feel as if I have ascended to the height of the bad stuff and have a fantastic road ahead of me. One full of joy and adventure, risk and laughter.

Most of all, it is full of Love.