My heart has been heavy this summer. Not every day, but enough. I am so used to a life of calm, free from drama and turmoil. This summer has been absolutely full of emotional turmoil.
It has started affecting my sleep. My precious, precious sleep--the space in which I find peace, in which I enter another world of dreams, of freedom.
I no longer have that. I average 4 hours a night now, and when I wake up, my mind's wheel starts turning full speed. All of the things I need to do, all of the unresolved issues, all of the emotions scroll through and there is no getting back to sleep after that.
I no longer have that. I average 4 hours a night now, and when I wake up, my mind's wheel starts turning full speed. All of the things I need to do, all of the unresolved issues, all of the emotions scroll through and there is no getting back to sleep after that.
The other day, when Dave and I were biking the Mosier Twin Tunnels trail, I stopped to take photos of these tree shadows. I absolutely love shadows. Their luminosity, and contrast of light and dark speak to my soul in a way that little else does. Sometimes I find them more beautiful than the tree itself. Each pattern is a dancing creation unto itself...I could watch them for hours, much like watching clouds.
I have been craving the bare, open sky at night lately. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on my mom's ranch, gazing up at the stars during the summers. We would sleep out on the deck and count them, naming the few constellations we knew. There is something so compelling about being in an environment so vast and empty, where it's just you and the stars.
There, I could just wish my worries away.
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