Finding Peace

I've realized recently that all of my actions lately revolve around the need for peace in my life. You may have seen me use the "D-Word" (aka Depression) here before, and when Lisa Congdon talks about anxiety, I cannot help but feel a certain kinship.

The last couple years, my life has resembled various levels of chaos.

Through it, I have doggedly continued to push myself, charging ahead just trying to get through, knowing that I would reach the other side eventually.

 This summer seems to be "the other side."

While initially, when summer hit, I continued to work hard, pushing myself, I eventually hit a breaking point.

At the pinnacle, I found myself dealing with the dissolution of multiple relationships--both family and friendship--as well as theft and a few other bumps in the road. The anger, anxiety, and helplessness peaked, and I reached a point where I had to retreat. I pulled into myself, closing myself off as much as possible in an attempt to heal. I'm still there, but it's getting better. I am no longer having nightmares and being plagued by anxiety constantly.

I am finding peace.

I am finding it beneath my feet...

 In long-lasting friendships...

 In the mist that drifts across the water, caressing my skin, reminding me of what's real, what matters.

 I am finding peace in the earth and the trees, the smells of the forest, walks with my husband.

 And sometimes, peace finds me....right when I look down and am greeted with a little surprise.

A couple weeks ago, DW and I went to the Lower Lewis River and met up with some old friends for a hike. It was beautiful, the company was fantastic, and after hiking to the Upper Falls and back for three hours, we left feeling grateful and recharged. 

One of the biggest lessons from this self-inflicted solitude is to slow down, recharge, be picky about who you surround yourself with.
(I've also found that removing myself from certain social networks, and turning off the ringer on my phone helps immensely.)

Follow your heart.

And remember, that sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.