Weddings On My Mind...

Before I met my fiance, I truly had never imagined myself getting married.  The idea of my future contained me, and possibly some other blurry figure, but mostly me.  I can remember distinctly the first time Dave and I talked about weddings.  It was just a few months into our relationship (we had a slow courtship), and he had recently moved rooms in his house.  He was now set up in this big room with screaming green walls.  I can't even remember what brought up the topic of weddings, but I remember asking him what he would want his wedding to be like, and he replied that it would be a huge wedding in a church (eek!).  

For the past 5 years, we have shared our ideas about our ideal wedding...some of them have changed, some have stayed the same.  For the past 5 years, I have planned, dreamed, imagined, constructed, and deconstructed our wedding day.  I have researched all the different aspects, analyzing, doing cost-comparisons, trashing ideas.  Why?  Because I never thought it would happen and hell, it's fun to plan your dream wedding! 

People keep telling me not to stress out, that everything will turn out great.  Personally, I know from experience of setting up events that things don't turn out great without some work put into them.  But, I appreciate the sentiments.

One of the most surprising and lovely things about the whole journey so far is the amount of love and support we have received.  It's absolutely amazing.  I cannot express how much my heart swells each time someone offers to help, or how excited I am that all these people we love are coming to celebrate our love and commitment together.  At the same time, each time there is a disappointment, it hurts far more than it should.  I know it's because of expectations and hopes, but it feels like being let down each time.  I think I'm doing a good job of rolling with it when these things happen, and I know the big day will be a blast.

I mean, how could it not when we have a typewriter with cursive type-set?!



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