Before I met my fiance, I truly had never imagined myself getting married. The idea of my future contained me, and possibly some other blurry figure, but mostly me. I can remember distinctly the first time Dave and I talked about weddings. It was just a few months into our relationship (we had a slow courtship), and he had recently moved rooms in his house. He was now set up in this big room with screaming green walls. I can't even remember what brought up the topic of weddings, but I remember asking him what he would want his wedding to be like, and he replied that it would be a huge wedding in a church (eek!).
For the past 5 years, we have shared our ideas about our ideal wedding...some of them have changed, some have stayed the same. For the past 5 years, I have planned, dreamed, imagined, constructed, and deconstructed our wedding day. I have researched all the different aspects, analyzing, doing cost-comparisons, trashing ideas. Why? Because I never thought it would happen and hell, it's fun to plan your dream wedding!
People keep telling me not to stress out, that everything will turn out great. Personally, I know from experience of setting up events that things don't turn out great without some work put into them. But, I appreciate the sentiments.
One of the most surprising and lovely things about the whole journey so far is the amount of love and support we have received. It's absolutely amazing. I cannot express how much my heart swells each time someone offers to help, or how excited I am that all these people we love are coming to celebrate our love and commitment together. At the same time, each time there is a disappointment, it hurts far more than it should. I know it's because of expectations and hopes, but it feels like being let down each time. I think I'm doing a good job of rolling with it when these things happen, and I know the big day will be a blast.
I mean, how could it not when we have a typewriter with cursive type-set?!