On Forgiveness: The Healing Power of Anger

I think, and write, about Forgiveness a lot. Personally, I believe that it is one of the most important experiences of ones life, and something that we should continually be working at.
I also think Anger has a lot of importance, especially when it comes to healing.
There is a lot of anger in my heart right now. After months of waiting & wondering, feeling any number of emotions from guilt to self-blame and beyond, I finally got closure the other day in the break-up of a friendship. While there may not have been an actual explanation, it was a response, and one I needed. I had given myself permission a few weeks ago to feel angry about this, and immediately felt relief. This response just proved to me how right I was, and how much better off I will be in my life without that particular friendship. But, it still hurts. A lot.

The anger I feel ebbs and flows, fluctuating depending on my situation and surroundings. It is certainly not all I feel--I am constantly countering it with forgiveness, but I know the importance of really feeling anger to help heal and move on. 

In a situation where one person is hurt by another, especially in break-ups, I have often seen (and felt) that person feeling a mix of anger and an attempt at being understanding and forgiving. Unfortunately, this often results in the hurt person putting the other persons feelings first. I often advise my friends to let themselves feel their anger--they can come back to the good feelings later, because those won't go away, but that frustration and hurt needs to come out in order to remember how freakin' awesome we are.

Anger allows us to remember how to stand up for ourselves. Saying that, I do have to make the point that when I talk about anger, I'm talking about internal anger. I'm not advising that you take your anger out on anyone else. What I am talking about is that moment when you pause, and think, "you know what, screw them. I am amazing! I deserve better than this!" That is the moment that you take back your power, and really start to move forward.

I look forward to the days when I can reflect on my friendship and smile. I really do. It was good. But until then, I am going to remind myself that I am amazing and that I am better off, even if it doesn't always feel like it (fake it till you make it, right?), because we all deserve better.

One of the keys to forgiveness, as well, is to really let go of that anger when you're ready. If we hold on to it, we're only hurting ourselves. Feel it, move forward, let it go, move on. It is a tool, not a way of life.

I know my ramblings about forgiveness don't have a whole lot to do with metalsmithing, but I hope they help someone out there. I'll soon be sharing how I am utilizing forgiveness and positivity in my artwork!



  1. I think that you have a great way of looking at it :-) I had a friendship disappear on me last year - poof it was gone when a friend moved interstate with no warning. The reasons (I understand) were unrelated to our friendship, but I had thought we were close enough to warrant a goodbye.

    I can relate to what you are saying and I will admit that anger was high up there for me. There was a definite mourning period for sure and I think anger is a part of grief from what I've read.

  2. I totally agree with you friendship should never hurt your friend is not suppose to hurt you ever. Just hang in there stay in the now, feel your anger, and then just let it go. You cannot change another or their mind but you can your own. I know sometimes on my blog I talk about other stuff besides metalsmithing and making jewelry but that's just fine let us get to know the whole you while we enjoy and lust after your beautiful jewelry. Go get lost in your studio and forget everything but making another beautiful creation, it works for me.lol


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