I have been hesitating writing this post for weeks. Perhaps I have been in denial, hoping the situation would change somehow. Here goes...
A few weeks ago, after many long months of being mistreated, taken advantage of, and basically being paid slave-wages, my fiance Dave quit his job. I had watched my lovely partner go from an energetic, happy man, to a despondent shell of his former self. With the bad economy, he stuck out this job simply out of fear of not finding more work. Honestly, it was like coming home to an abused house wife every day. I finally told him "Honey, follow your heart. If you need to quit, then quit." So he did. Luckily, the financial adjustment hasn't been so bad. (And on the up-side, he just got a new job..starts in a couple weeks!)
However, this meant that I needed to take on more work as a nanny. Did I mention we're getting married next August? So, on top of all our normal bills, we are paying for our own wedding. I am now working around 50 hours a week as a nanny, and when I get home each night, I just don't have the energy to go into the studio. Any parent can relate to the insane amount of energy it takes to be at home all day with kids, followed by having to cook and clean and maintain a house.
I am taking on a few projects (and looking forward to a rather empty weekend coming up), as commissions, but I'm not "producing" work. I have all these beautiful stones and bezels sitting, waiting to be set and made into beauties, and I just don't have the energy. It is honestly breaking my heart.
As much as I may look at other careers as paths for myself...nursing, occupational therapy, etc.,...I am a maker at heart. I have had to go many months without making jewelry before, and the emotional effects are bad. I have to do something creative, preferrably involving soldering, hammering, and sawing. I am now considering putting up some parameters at work (restrictions on evening shifts, etc.) so that I can save some energy and get back into the studio. Wish me luck, and hopefully you will see dribbles of new work soon!
I wish you the best !! I think you have made the right choice in taking on the nanny job for now - after all in the end the MOST important thing in your life is your family/husband and there are choices we all have to make for the sake of "the team". Especially once you guys have kids in the future, this will be one of the BIG issues...
ReplyDeleteI I might make a suggestion, it would be to not look at the down side so much right now, especially not feeling bad or guilty for not having enough time/energy to make. It is what it is right now. Whenever you can go back to "making" though, I assure you that nothing will be "lost." Most likely, you will instead go off on a new path that has been initiated by the forced break.
Establishing some parameters is a very good thing :-)
Best of luck with everything !
Thank you, Brigitte! It's been a tough experience to not have time to work on metal. But, I know I'll come back to it. Right now I just have to re-direct that creative energy into wedding planning, and look for the odd weekend day when I can escape into the studio with no other plans!
ReplyDelete:)