It's not easy...being thesis...

I am making amazing things.
I am experiencing vast amounts of growth.
I am working with new materials.
I am broadening horizons.

But it's not all easy.

My work is personal.
Most of the time I feel vulnerable and exposed.
Most of the time it brings up issues, relationships, past experiences.
I realized today that I don't trust anyone anymore.
(I have learned more about myself through this work than any sort of counseling I've ever had.)
I have to continually push, work, move.

Last night, I realized it had been terribly long since I've been for a hike.
I haven't had time to myself in months...
...but I'm making myself a lovely necklace with a hidden token.
I have given up on going to the gym until May...
...but I'm going to go back to meditation this week. I find myself daydreaming about getting on the freeway and just driving away into the sunset.
Or just sleeping in.
I cannot wait to get back to making jewelry.
Soon, I will give up on cooking in order to save time, and find myself sleeping on the couch in order to get as many hours as possible, undisturbed.

It's not all easy, I know. No one ever said it would be.

But I know it's worth it.
Nothing worth anything ever came easy.



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